


The Green Goblin's Idea

by glittergrenade



Category: Spider-Man (Comicverse), Superior Spider-Man
Genre: Crack, Gen, Stream of Consciousness, bc its just him writing, but he writes/thinks bout the other characters tho, idek, norman is the only character really, possibly, probably canon loose, thats why i put them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-17
Updated: 2015-10-17
Packaged: 2018-04-26 18:21:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5015245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glittergrenade/pseuds/glittergrenade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the fall of the Goblin Nation, the Green Goblin plots.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Green Goblin's Idea

**Author's Note:**

> I barely remember the details how Superior Spider-Man ended tbh because my memory sucks… I just remember it made me cry (cuz Otto/Anna, not cuz Gobby, like didn't Otto sacrifice himself for Anna cuz he knew only Peter could save her amirite). But for some reason I decided to write this weirdass thing anyway so yeah!

Diary of the ONE TRUE Green Goblin

Dear scrap of paper that I will probably never pick up again,

I need to get my thoughts in order. Being who I am, sometimes I have way too many brilliant thoughts to process in a moment.

Ugh, at the moment some involving Otto Octavius…

Screw Otto Octavius.

A complete tool when he lead me in the Sinister Six; a complete fool when I killed his wench (hell yeah rhymes!); and worst of all when he thinks he's a "hero." Funny little idiot. Stealing a body doesn't make you Spider-Man. All the times I went through with the real web-slinger, good times and bad, of course I could see in an instant that they're nothing alike — it takes a lot to be _my_ archnemesis, and sorry Doc Ock, but you just ain't got it.

And to think Octavius actually thinks he's the smartest thing since sliced bread… the so-called "Superior Spider-Man." Hahahaha! It's annoying. Worst part is that he still actually fucking beat my goblin army. See, times like these, that's when I wish I had the real Spider-Man. The real guy, he's just awesome: very clever but not too sensible, precisely the way you want your archnemesis to be (backtrack, did I just call him "awesome"? correction, I hate his red-and-blue guts). But honestly, the real Spider-Man would never have for himself Spider-bots, Spider-soldiers, and a whole damn Spider-Island! He's so obsessed with doing things on his own, it's almost like he's punishing himself for something. "With great power comes great responsibility." Hmm.

Although, I do think there's something wrong with that guy, because he's stacked up more guys out to get _him_ in particular than just about any self-styled "superhero." Hell, Spider-Man's got more villains than all the other Avengers put together. I say "villains" rather than "enemies" because "enemy" goes both ways, and I doubt many of them are enough to him to even be spared a second thought. I'm pretty sure the reason for a lot of these guys is his constantly incessant "jokes," which come to think of it is probably enough to make anybody who passes him in the street want to murder him. Still.

A fair number of his baddies, ~~including~~ especially Octavius, consider themselves to be archnemesis of the Spider; they're all wrong. No really, go ask him yourself. Ask Spider-Man who his greatest enemy is, and he'll say "the Green Goblin, of course" without waiting a beat. I never did find out what his thing was for Gwen Stacy. I just wonder if Peter Parker knew about it, or he was oblivious to all the supermen having affairs with his supposedly serious girlfriend.

Anyways. Sorry, I'm really getting off topic here, I'm a busy man. An insanely busy man. So busy I'm contracting a new building, but let's not get into that just yet. My goblin army lost against "Spider-Man" due to unforeseen circumstances — my goblin nation in ruins. And now the real bug is back — the most inconvenient timing to really topple me. The victory of my enemies _needed_ Octavius at the beginning and Spider-Man at the end. Neither one of them could've done it alone.

And now I have to start from scratch. I need a new method. But fortunately, I do have a new idea! Hahahahaha! So, then again, let's get into that.

A new goblin army, composed of young easily-malleable minds. How exactly am I going to do this — like I began to mention, I'm having a new building made, a very very nice one, and not even in New York — but in London. Oh yes, I'm familiar with Europe from my "recovery time" there, and believe me that London is the place for this. A fancy upscale boarding school, where the initiation (to prove they're "posh" enough to be enrolled there, so they are told) is to drink from a fancy little teacup with their pinky fingers out and all that fancy shit. That tea will be laced with a new variety of the goblin serum… hahahahaha.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Excuse me. It's really a great plan. Nobody will expect British schoolchildren to be the new goblin army, but they'll be better than any before. Far greater.

Maybe I'll incorporate the rouge goblins… I'm still thinking about what to do about the self-styled "Goblin King" Phil Urich. That boy has an ego the size of Avengers Tower, I swear. For a time he was so eager to be helpful, and I (almost) hate to say this, but I might have to take him down.

Anyhow. I can afford that. Once I have my army of fancy British goblins, I can accomplish anything. Hahahaha! I might even have babies with some of the _posh_ chicks.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**Author's Note:**

> Man I know it's dumb but somebody could totally expand on fancy British boarding school goblins cuz I'm craving a fic and I'm probably never gonna write anything more about it (rn I'm working on a longish Hank Pym fic with a million characters… stay tuned if you care about that lol… lmao... basically I don't care enough about this idea to write any more than a sheet of paper Norman laughed on but I still wanna read it).  
> ps ALL HAIL TO THE OSBORN LAUGH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA


End file.
